KNIGHTTIME NEWS: Fall 2025
Staying Anchored: A Parent’s Guide to the College Application Journey
Each fall, I sit across from parents who want nothing more than to see their child succeed in the college application process. But as any family that has lived through this season knows, the process is as much an emotional journey as it is a logistical one.
LISA GIARRATANO Director of College Counseling
In my years of working with students and families, I’ve found the most supportive parents strike a delicate balance: staying engaged without taking over, trusting their child’s readiness while providing scaffolding, and resisting the urge to let anxiety drive the process. Here are a few ways parents can best support their student through this milestone moment:
Be the Emotional Anchor
Students feel the weight of expectations from themselves, their peers, and yes, their families. What they need most from parents is a calm, steady presence, not a daily taskmaster. Instead of asking, “Did you finish your essay?” try asking, “How are you feeling about where you are in the process?” Shifting the conversation from performance to well-being helps students feel supported rather than pressured.
Focus on the Process
One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is recognition for effort and growth rather than results. Celebrate the late nights spent editing an essay, the courage it takes to reflect honestly on strengths and challenges, or the maturity required to make thoughtful choices about where to apply. By keeping the focus on the process, families reinforce the values of perseverance, reflection, and integrity, which last far longer than any admission decision.
Boundaries for Everyone
Parents are invaluable in setting boundaries, but the words on the essay, the choices on the activity list, and the ultimate decision about where to apply belong to the student. Think of yourself as the guardrails on a winding road: you prevent veering off course, but you don’t steer the car.
Set Clear Times to Talk About College
One strategy that has worked well for many families is to designate specific times (say, 30 minutes twice a week) for college conversations. During that time, parents and students can sit down together, review tasks, and check in on progress. Outside of those agreed-upon windows, parents can let go of the constant “Did you…?” questions that often create tension. This approach reassures parents that they are informed and involved, while giving students the breathing room they need to manage the process more independently.
Celebrate the Milestones
The application season can feel like a marathon, so pausing to recognize progress matters. Celebrate the submission of the first application, the completion of the Common App Personal Statement, or simply a student’s thoughtful reflection about who they are and what they want. These moments help reframe the process as an opportunity rather than a burden.
By being calm, supportive, and present, parents can help transform what could feel like a high-stakes competition into a meaningful rite of passage.
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